Jul 31st 2013, 19:05, by Dodai Stewart on Jezebel, shared by Leah Beckmann to Gawker

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, we visit the newsstand and buy the latest issues of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Star. Today, Callie Beusman assists as we dabble in the dark arts of celebrity gossip. This week: Cancer and mental illness are to blame for the imaginary Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta-Jones divorce; that weird dude from The Bachelorette is gay; and Jennifer Aniston's "baby bump" is just a pleat in a sundress.
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