Beards have never been more popular. Don't believe us? Ask the decimated razor industry, whose warehouses are overflowing with unshipped crates of 10-blade UltiProGlide X replacement cartridges with curdling LubriStrips that will never cut a Barbisol-slicked swath across a defiantly hirsute nation's stubble-riddled faces. Exposed cheeks are becoming as socially unthinkable as exposed genitalia; decency demands you cover that rosy shit up with the protective fur nature gave you, yo.
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