Tonight’s installment of American Idol kicked off with chyrons promising “a story of innovators, a story of visionaries.” And then we jumped right into a theme that Idol has coughed up roughly 26 times over the course of 12 seasons: “Detroit: The Music of Motor City” (AKA Motown Night Plus a Random Madonna Track).
Randy Jackson shouted “in it to win it!” (the verbal equivalent of a pile of dusty horse bones getting worked over with a cat o’ nine tails). Mariah Carey did her impersonation of a butterfly (much flapping of the wings/gums; very little in the way of pointed critique). One singer used the “I wanted to have fun” card while trying to explain away a catastrophic mess of a performance. And while, thankfully, the majority of contestants chose uptempo tracks — thereby ending a run that gave us ballads for 17 of the last 19 performances — a sense of ennui prevailed for most of the episode, with a few jarring exceptions.
Nicki Minaj poured 100-proof honesty into the watered-down punch — at one point becoming so disgusted with the three remaining male contestants that she demanded they leave the stage immédiatement. Guest mentor Smokey Robinson used his keen ear to give the Top 8 some legitimately sound advice. And Janelle Wheeler, who looked no better than a mid-pack player a couple weeks ago, played the David Cook card and changed up her Motown ditty in a way that was downright electrifying. (Three of Janelle’s fellow chicas weren’t too shabby, either.)
With that said, let’s cut to tonight’s set list — with letter grades for every performance!
Candice Glover: Marvin Gaye’s "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" | Grade: B+
Kree Harrison and Janelle Wheeler: Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” | Grade: B-
Lazaro Arbos: Stevie Wonder’s "For Once In My Life" | Grade: D+
Janelle Arthur: The Supremes’ "You Keep Me Hangin’ On" | Grade: A
Devin Velez: The Miracles’ “The Tracks of My Tears” | Grade: B/B- (Yes, we’ve reached a point where some contestants receive separate scores for technical merit and artistic impression)
Candice Glover, Angie Miller and Amber Holcomb: The Supremes’ “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me” A-
Burnell Taylor: Stevie Wonder’s "My Cherie Amour" | Grade: B/B- (Burnell also receives separate scores for technical merit and artistic impression; and the East German judge wasn’t having the “m” sound at the end of every line)
Angie Miller: The Miracles’ "Shop Around" | Grade: C-
Amber Holcomb: Stevie Wonder’s "Lately" | Grade: A-
Burnell Taylor, Devin Velez and Lazaro Arbos, “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)” | Grade: C- (maybe a D- for Lazaro)
Kree Harrison: Ben E. King’s "Don't Play That Song (You Lied)" | Grade: B+
And with that, I’ll be back overnight to update this post with full reviews for every contestant — bookmark, refresh, and enjoy! — but until then, let me turn things over to you. What did you think of Season 12 Top 8 performance night? What did you think of the judges' comments? Who was your favorite? Who’s going to be in trouble come results night? And what about the Lazaro-Burnell-Devin catastrophe? Take our poll below, then sound off in the comments, and for all my Idol-related news, recaps, interviews and videos, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!
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