We’ve now reached that awkward phase in The Voice‘s trajectory where the coaches’ feedback is like a shot of novocaine — numbing in its bland positivity, but always with a painful little jab of knowing you’re not getting to hear their whole truth (and sometimes anything close to the truth, for that matter).
Things got so ridiculous during Night 1 of the Season 5 Live Playoffs, in fact, that Nic Hawk, coming off a performance of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” that was the culinary equivalent of smashing a dozen eggs with the back of a frying pan, ended up being the only person to admit “the vocals could’ve been better.” (Yeah, yeah, Coach Blake actually reported that info after chatting with Nic on the commercial break, but still…)
And that wasn’t the only glaring example of The Voice being so aggressively upbeat that you could use an episode of Barney & Friends to come down off the sugar high. When Xtina referenced “that note” during her critique of Will Champlin, you could practically see him wince with agreement — until she suddenly shifted gears and praised his badly botched run. Likewise, uni-monikered Grey looked utterly befuddled at the end of her unfortunate Paramore cover, as Blake took his long-winded critique over the river, through the woods and down to grandmother’s house for a shot of Wild Turkey.
But hey, on the plus side, mostly everybody from Team Blake and Team Adam proved pretty solid, if not entirely spectacular. And if you’re jonesin’ for some bitchy realness, let me give you my quick take on the proceedings — bearing in mind that I’ll be back overnight to update this post with full critiques of every performance:
TEAM BLAKE
MORTAL LOCK TO ADVANCE
Ray Boudreaux: Marc Broussard’s “Home” — Grade: A-
ALMOST DEFINITELY GOING HOME
Nic Hawk: Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” — Grade: D-
COULD GO EITHER WAY, BASED ON CURRENT BUZZ + TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE
Shelbie Z: Reba McEntire/Bobby Gentry’s “Fancy” — Grade: B+
Austin Jenckes: The Black Crowes’ “She Talks to Angels” — Grade: B
Cole Vosbury: Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May” — Grade: B-
TEAM ADAM
MORTAL LOCK TO ADVANCE
Preston Pohl: B.O.B.’s “Nothin’ on You” — Grade: A
Tessanne Chin: Jimmy Cliff’s “Many Rivers to Cross” — Grade: B+ (great vocal, but a little sleepy)
ALMOST DEFINITELY GOING HOME
Grey: Paramore’s “Still into You” — Grade: C-
COULD GO EITHER WAY, BASED ON CURRENT BUZZ + TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE
Will Champlin: One Republic’s “Secrets” — Grade: C+
James Wolpert: Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You” — Grade: B+
And with that, let me turn things over to you. What did you think of tonight's Live Playoffs? Were the coaches too bland with their feedback? Who were your faves? Who are you worried about? Take our poll below, then sound off in the comments!
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