Informal poll time, X Factor watchers!
The most confounding portion of tonight’s Top 12 performance telecast was:
A. Paulina Rubio’s continued employment in the face of her enthusiastic incompetence
B. Paulina’s insistence on using the word “America” while introducing her acts (Gurrl, it’ll take more than that to win us over, I’m afraid)
C. The screaming of the lambs audience
D. Mario Lopez’s obscene attempt to recreate a classic Michael Jackson dance move
E. Writhing ladies leading into various ad breaks (I didn’t hallucinate that, did I?)
F. The inclusion of an interpretive dance to “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)”
G. The fact that a mentor and/or contestant thought “Against All Odds” would be viewed as anything other than an unwelcome assault on viewers’ ears
OK, OK, before you answer the question down in the comments, let me come clean: I’m not trying to hate-watch The X Factor. That would be a disservice to the 12 hard-working acts attempting to overcome seizure-inducing lights, batallions of background singers, checked-out mentors and cruel stylists who interpret the term “theme night” as “second Halloween.”
And in fact, four or five singers tonight left the impression that they could — maybe even should — be viewed as viable artists who belong on the charts alongside (or perhaps above) Season 2 standouts Fifth Harmony.
Which is why I keep watching and recapping and, yes, railing against Simon Cowell and his cronies, who seem hellbent on a Thelma & Louise trajectory — straight over the cliff, then a cut to final credits. Heck, if this show provides me with one more terrific Alex & Sierra download before Christmas, I could easily justify a Season 4.
Anyhow, because of last week’s voting snafu, the episode began with one contestant getting the boot based on last week’s Thursday voting tallies. The doomed singer: Carlos Guevara, who didn’t bother to remove the gum from his mouth when Mario called him to center stage for a hasty goodbye.
But enough about the voyage of the damned, let’s cut to letter grades for tonight’s performances! (Bear in mind I’ll be back overnight to add more detailed reviews of each act’s work.)
Lillie McCloud: Chaka Khan’s “Ain't Nobody” | Grade: B+
Carlito Olivero: Miami Sound Machine’s “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” | Grade: B
Rion Paige: Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” | Grade: C-
Sweet Suspense: Toni Basil’s “Mickey” | Grade: N/A (until I can clearly hear the three girls’ voices over the track, I refuse to grade them!)
Tim Olstad: Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)” | Grade: D
Khaya Cohen: Madonna’s “Borderline” | Grade: A-
Restless Road: Kenny Loggins’ “Footloose” | Grade: B-
Rachel Potter: Heart’s “Alone” | Grade: B+
Ellona Santiago: Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)” | Grade: B-
Josh Levi: Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” | Grade: A-
Jeff Gutt: Cutting Crew’s “(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight” | Grade: B-
Alex & Sierra: Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love” | Grade: A
Should go home: Tim Olstad, Rion Paige
Will go home: Carlito Olivero, Lillie McCloud
And with that, I turn it over to you. Who did you like on this week’s X Factor? Who deserves to be in jeopardy? Who are you worried about? Take our poll below, then sound off in the comments!
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