Once Upon a Time … via the Inside Line… I told you that, soon enough, you’d be wondering what the Phuket Tamara’s agenda is.
And now you have wondered, and now you (kinda) know.
This week’s episode also accounted for August’s whereabouts, shed a touch more light on Snow’s growing darkness and connected the dots between Greg Mendel and… “Her.”
IN PHUKET CIRCA 2011…. | August awakens in a beachside bed, beside a logy local lass, to discover that she gave him a tattoo on his shoulder his leg has turned to wood. (Between the setting, the clock time, the subtitles and the crazy, it was easily the show’s most Lost-like cold open ever.) When a visit to a regular doc proves futile, August is directed to a mystical man known as The Dragon. And in that super-secretive waiting room, we also spy… Tamara?!
The Dragon recognizes August as Pinocchio and promises to cure his condition in trade for “an item of great value to you” — the string of his whale (heh) necklace, which Gepetto used to animate him back in the day — and $10,000. (Hey, Rumple told us magic always comes with a price!) Looking about $9,990 short on the fee, August eyeballs the wad in Tamara’s purse as they chat at a bar — and then predictably pinches it when she goes to take a call, and buys his cure. She intercepts him afterward, however, retrieving the vial and leaving him in the gutter. We then see Tamara have a fateful encounter with the Dragon, learning she doesn‘t have any rare cancer but instead has been on a long, frustrating search for magic that only turned up frauds — until him. He’s the real deal, as evidenced by the potion made of no known elements, so she goes to kill him. “You have not met the real me,” he cautions, as plumes of colored smoke swirl out of his nose and such… yet apparently a $99 stun gun can nonetheless do him in.
IN STORYBROOKE…. | While David checks on the magic bean crop, Mary Margaret goes into the woods to reflect on her recent dark turn (and give the ol’ bow a rockin’ plucking). There, she discovers the trailer where August has been hiding, having turned back into a 100-percent wooden, yet ambulatory, man. He is relieved?/jealous-ish? that Emma has reunited with Neal, but sees no redemption for himself, so he wishes to lay low.
Back in town, there’s awkward noshing of New York City bagels for Emma, Henry, Neal and the just-arrived Tamara (who reported that Hook was MIA from the apartment building’s storage room). When Neal tells his fiancée the truth about his origins, she rails at him for a lame-ass attempt to blow her off in favor of “the cute blonde.” Over at the diner, after Regina recommends “the blackened sole” to her, Mary Margaret tells Emma and Marco/Gepetto about finding August — as Tamara eavesdrops.
Tams gets to August first, saying that, no, she isn’t magical, and her business in Storybrooke doesn’t concern him. But he does owe her, so she instructs him to go to New York City and use her leftover cure, and never return. August sets out to do just that, but upon realizing that Tamara has been lying — and that she killed The Dragon — he turns around, to warn Emma & Co. But the Taser That Even Works On Wood dispatches with the marionette, who can’t quite utter his attacker’s name to Emma before he croaks. However… seeing as his dying act was “selfless, brave and true,” the Blue Fairy is able to revive Pinocchio, as his boyish self. The freckled lad has no memory of what he was about to tell Emma, which is good, ’cause Tams looked prime to Taze him too! Neal offers Tamara an out, now that she’s witnessed all the wacky, but she claims, “What I signed up for was you.”
That night, Greg — after having a run-in with Regina, who now realizes he is grown-up Owen and is determined to find his father — calls “Her” on his cell, but it turns out “she” is outside his door. And she is Tamara. And they begin making out…?
IN NEW YORK CITY CIRCA 2011…. | Upon returning from Phuket, August reports to Neal that Emma must have arrived in Storybrooke, so he’s heading there to meet her. He says he’ll “send a postcard” once the curse is lifted. Tamara witnesses this encounter, then arranges for her and Neal’s “meet cute.”
What did you think of “Selfless, Brave and True”? How many “Tamara is Wendy/Pocahontas/Whomever” theories flew out the window tonight? (Sorry! That said, several of ya nailed the “Tamara is Her” thing.) And what do you think her endgame is in Storybrooke?
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